She was more embarrassed than I was; and, I was embarrassed!"Do I turn you off that much," she said. She was beginning to cry."Hell no," I said; "or actually, yes. What you are doing and have done and plan to do to me: those are the things that turned, and are turning, me off."I can't do it, April. I can't. I can't be your cuckold. I just can't get it up for a woman who is of the opinion that I'm no good in bed, no matter how desperate I get. I thought I could get through the week, but I realize now that I can't. Seeing you like that, when you came out of the bathroom, trust me; I was—am—desperate!" I said."Finn, I love it when you make love to me. I do. I don't think you're no good in bed. Yes, Roger is very good, but he isn't you. I'm not trying to get you back for your money. I'm trying to get you back because I need you. I need his dick too, but it really is only a part time toy! Nothing more! Jesus, I'm sorry, and I mean forever sorry, that I said those things to you. I had to. ’ ‘So? Oh, no. not me. You’re not getting me on a nude beach!’ ‘Why not?’ ‘I’m chicken, that’s why!’ ‘Balls, you’re chicken! Why not?’ I took her question seriously and thought about it. Why not? Self-doubt, I guessed. ‘I don’t know, I guess I don’t have the nerve.’ ‘Uh-huh, Jack. You’re the guy that was commended for tackling a gun-toting hophead with bare hands. Don’t tell me you don’t have nerve!’ ‘He was threatening my Mom.’ She reached over and squeezed my hand. ‘I know. She told me all about it.’ ‘Well, then. You know that was different.’ ‘I guess so.’ I looked across at her, this girl I’d been dating for a couple of months. We weren’t lovers, not yet, but I think we both knew that it was only a matter of time, as we each had a powerful attraction to the other. I hadn’t said so, not yet, but I found myself thinking of marriage, wondering if she felt the same as me. I was almost ready to find out, I reckoned. ‘Do you want to go?’ I asked her. I drove a couple of blocks in.
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